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Movies Review

REVIEW – Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom

So ends Warners’ first foray into a connected theatrical superhero universe, with Jason Momoa‘s brawny sea bro, already embracing his new roles as a husband (to Amber Heard‘s Mera, who’s in more of the movie than you’d think based on the marketing, but is mostly here for a gag or two, a big emotional reaction or two, and to save Arthur’s butt a couple more times) and father (“villains threaten Aquaman’s baby” is, as I recall, one of THE classic pre-Crisis Aquaman stories), having to also learn how to actually be a leader. Seeing the NEXT step in his journey? Highly unlikely. The bulk of the plot concerns Yahya Abdul-Mateen‘s Black Manta’s quest to get the vengeance he swore at the end of the first movie; in seeking out Atlantean artifacts to facilitate this end, he acquires a spooky, obviously evil trident that is a remnant of the titular kingdom. I was surprised to see Randall Park turn up early on as a scientist helping Manta in this hunt; Park’s in, like, pretty much the whole movie, and his nervous charm helps make the tedious first twenty-to-thirty minutes bearable. It feels like there used to be a coherent first act to this thing that, in order to beat it down to about two hours, got chopped into ribbons, so all that remains are vignettes intercut with Manta’s plot. That said, once Manta and his crew get the wherewithal to attack Atlantis, the movie starts moving and turns into a reasonably entertaining science-fantasy adventure. Does Aquaman ride a giant seahorse? Yes. Does he talk to fish at a key moment to take out a threat? Absolutely. Are they trying a bit too hard to do a THOR: THE DARK WORLD thing here with Patrick Wilson‘s Orm freed and forced to team up with Arthur to fight a mutual foe, except that Patrick Wilson has absolutely none of Tom Hiddleston’s considerable charm? Oh god, yes — in fact, the movie ends on a note that is absolutely the last scene of two additional Marvel flicks smashed together. Bit cringe-inducing, that. But between that rough opening stretch and that deja vu-inducing final scene, there’s some fun stuff in here. I’ve seen superhero movie train wrecks; this isn’t one of them. However, absolutely inessential viewing. If you got a gift card this holiday season and have a couple hours to kill, Atlantis still looks real pretty up on the big screen, but other than that, it probably won’t hurt to wait for it to turn up on Max.

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Movies Review

REVIEW – Ambulance

A preposterous pile-up of explosions, jargon, snark, and dizzying flipping & swooping drone shots that you just know director Michael Bay wishes he’d had access to for the entire duration of his career. Yahya Abdul-Mateen II is Will, a decorated soldier and all-around good guy in a bad situation. His wife needs surgery, and his insurance ain’t gonna cover it. Enter his adoptive brother Danny (Jake Gyllenhall), a fast-talking bank robber who invites him onto a major score alongside a real rogues gallery of weird assholes you won’t have to remember — because the whole thing goes sideways, and in desperation the two brothers wind up hijacking the titular vehicle, with super-awesome EMT Cam (Eiza Gonzales) and a poor rookie cop they shot along the way along for the ride. It’s a hostage situation, a long car chase, AND an ongoing medical emergency all rolled into one. Cop cars crash and flip and occasionally explode, additional weird characters keep wandering in on both sides, and things just keep escalating for most of the two hour-plus running time. It does continue the Michael Bay trademark I recall from the TRANSFORMERS flicks of the occasional interjection of strange character beats; the musical moment Will and Danny share with a pair of Airpods as they’re trying to calm down on the road jumps to mind. Gyllenhall mixes up sleazy charm with bouts of furious shouting as the situation deteriorates, while most everyone else is given a single note to play — though it’s not like anyone puts in a BAD performance. It’s actually nice to see Gonzales given not just a straightforwardly heroic role — she’s THE unambiguous “good guy” in this story — but also one where the audience isn’t invited to leer at her. That’s not the kind of thing that’s on this movie’s mind in the least bit; it’s all about the limits of trust and the consequences of violence (though it does take pains to assure you there’s not any REAL consequences for most of these flipped & crashed cars, which I found amusing and ironic). Glad I made the time for it on this last day it was showing locally; don’t think those head-spinning drone shots would’ve had quite the same effect on TV.